I’ve been searching for myself and my Creator my whole life.
I started the quest in Catholic School. 9 years of plaid skirts and the stations of the cross. When I learned that God listens to our prayers, I went home and prayed on my knees at my bedside, begging for him to talk to me.
I went to a Buddhist Monastery for summer school. I sat, listened to the gongs, smelled the wafts of Nag Champa and aptly waited for the void to give me… something. Anything.
I decided that maybe I would find myself and where I came from if I became an astronaut and touched the stars. So I passed ground school at 13 and started training to be a pilot.
And when it came time for college… the only thing that made sense to me was to major in Religious Studies and Philosophy. I mean… maybe the Creator had authored many books? Maybe he had left clues about me and the Universe, woven in the stage-plays of tradition and belief?
I searched for my home, my cradle, my Creator… in the hope that somehow I would find myself… but to no avail.
I struggled wildly through this whole journey. I was crippled with anxiety as a child, enmeshed in drug addiction as a teenager, overweight, insecure… lost, giving myself and my power away to anyone who wanted it… because I didn’t even know I had any.
At a certain point, I gave up and decided that my power must lay in the physical world alone. I got a degree in Nutrition Education, started my own private practice and became obsessed with walking my talk. I ate an immaculate diet and worked out like an athlete, trying to gain dominion over this physical world – because I thought that maybe that is all that there is.
And …. ironically… at the healthiest that I had ever been in my whole life, in just my early twenties… I got sick. Bed-ridden sick. And the doctors said that I would probably never get better.
It was here, that I had my spiritual awakening.
I know that sounds cheesie and honestly, in the moment that’s NOT what I would have called it. There wasn’t some bright column of light and a voice from above calling out to me. No. My spiritual awakening was messy, desperate, and lonely.
The BEST stuff of the physical world, including other people, couldn’t make me any better so I was forced to look behind curtains, through windows and into realms – spiritual realms – that I didn’t even remember or know were there.
And my life changed forever.
There was this old box of books that I had stored away when I was a teenager. At the top was a Numerology book by Mathew Goodwin, an MIT mathematician and just for fun, I read it.
When I crunched my numbers… I felt what I had been searching for my whole life.
I felt what, as a child, I tried to feel when I was praying and meditating.
I found what, as a teenager, I had tried to reach out and touch as I was flying.
And I experienced what I think the mystics have talked about for thousands of years:
I rubbed shoulders with the intelligent energy behind existence.
I learned that I was an 8 Life Path in Numerology and it gave me chills… because the 8? It was a number that I was obsessed with when I was younger. I used to scribble it on my notebooks in elementary school. I even remember this snapshot moment when Mrs. Howlett wrote the number 8 on the chalkboard. I couldn’t stop staring at it. How did I know?
When I studied what the 8 represents as a symbol (and what it said about me and my purpose) I was drawn to tears. In that moment I knew exactly why I was sick. I wasn’t being me. I wasn’t being the person that the Creator designed me to be.
I applied the wisdom of my numbers and I got better when no one said I would.
And when I crunched the numbers of my friends and family? The coincidences were unreal and impossible to ignore.
My father? A double 9 Humanitarian? Goosebumps. He had been an political and peace activist my whole life, dragging me out to protests as a teenager.
My sister, a double 6 Caregiver? Of course! She is the hub, the center, the provider of her family. Sacrificing anything and everything for those she loves.
Every boss I ever had was a 7? And all my girlfriends at the time were 5’s? WHAT?
These synchronicities, these numbers, these patterns, were the fingerprints of God; the fingerprints of a divine intelligence behind existence.
And they were leading me back, like breadcrumbs, to the true spark of who we are and why we’re here.
I know what it is like to feel powerless and insecure; to feel that there’s something wrong with you; to have no idea why the hell you’re here; to pretend to be someone else, simply because you don’t know who you are; and to look up at the stars and yearn for the friendship and support of that big, wide, open space that we call the cosmos.
And I also know how to get out of that state and step back into confidence, happiness and success with your numbers.
I have made it my mission to decode the unique algorithm of you, so that you can finally awaken your true self and fight for your dreams, just like I did.
If my story hit home, if you feel like this speaks to you, book a session and dive into your magic with me. This isn’t entertainment. This isn’t a fun hat trick for a party. This work, these numbers, can transform your life.
You are powerful, and there is an energy in this Universe supporting you.